Temporarily Me

   Amanda and I have been discussing recently how raising children is much like Groundhog Day. The kids wake up and you wake up, you change diapers, remind older ones to go potty, get breakfast, clean off table, clean off kids, dress children and brush their hair, take child(children) to school, clean dishes, play in playroom, change diapers, play outside, turn on PBS so that you can clean house, make lunch, change diapers, eat lunch, wipe off kids, clean off table, play in playroom, pick up older child(children) from school, play at playground or in backyard, make dinner, change diapers, serve dinner, talk with family at table, clean up kids, clean off table, play in playroom, start bath, bath time, pajama time, story time, bedtime for two oldest, youngest takes nap and wakes up for her alone time, try to study for class, play with baby, diaper change, feed baby, take a bath yourself, put baby to bed, go to sleep. Same routine next day. Errands can break up the monotony but they must be stealthily planned because you have plural children and there are nap times, food, distance, health, etc. to take into consideration.
   Among all the chaos of bath time, food preparation, family time and 586 daily diaper changes there are these amazing nuggets of time that you get to see and have with each child. That you watch as a baby's personality begins to shine through. That the oldest begins reading by herself. The middle child talks 200 miles a minute and you understand every word he says. You have a conversation with them. They talk and express themselves and how they feel. You watch them show their love for each other and you.
   It's between these nuggets, though, that the hard work is grueling. That you are tired. That if that child or the children asks one more time for dessert or a toy or a movie one more time you may lose your mind. That if one child hits another child because they had the toy that the one who hit wanted and the one who got hit should have intuitively known that you pray to not lose your mind. Those are the times you question your sanity. Why did I have more than one child? What was I thinking?
   Then, though, you get a nugget. That baby says, "Mama" for the first time. The oldest plays with a younger sibling while the younger one is crying to make them laugh so you can just finish what you are doing quickly. One child tells another that they love them and hugs them. A child comes up to you and says, "I love you. You're the best momma/daddy/aunt/uncle/friend I've ever had." Or they all fall asleep peacefully, stay asleep without nightmares or drinks needed and you get sleep. Blissful, continuous sleep.
   Those are the times you treasure, you cherish. Even some of the difficult times become more meaningful because it builds a bond that will be forever. That child knows no matter what you are there. That nothing will stop you from loving them. That you are a forever family and that is all that matters.
   Normally when I post pictures they have been edited and they have been scrutinized and made perfect. I am going to post some outtakes that mean the most to me. Old and new that haven't been posted.