I haven’t been blogging much. Facebook seems to have taken over the world. Why blog when my friends get a glimpse into my life almost daily? My mom pointed out to me recently that you blog not for the glimpse but for the story that the glimpse doesn’t reveal.
My life since Abby’s death has been up and down as life is wont to do. Harry and I miss Abby every day and occasionally bring up adopting another dog to fill the hole that is missing in our hearts not having Abby here. So far, we have decided to hold off on that venture.
My family has been struggling mightily with health issues. It started with my mom being diagnosed with colon cancer. Cancer is such a scary word and your mother having cancer is even scarier. While we have the most amazing step-father in the world who to us is our father, three of us are not in contact with our biological fathers. One has passed away and two have chosen to remain out of our lives.
So when your mother tells you she has cancer you first are scared for her and what this means and then even as an adult you become scared of being left all alone in this world. Your parents are supposed to love you unconditionally. No one else in the world has that expectation, except them. Losing a parent means losing someone in your corner, someone who created and understands you on a molecular level. After her successful surgery to remove said colon cancer I had laparoscopic gallbladder removal surgery. Due to it and a few complications I had to withdraw from my classes for the semester which was a real blow to my self-esteem. However, before I could even begin to concentrate on that my mom was then diagnosed with kidney cancer which eventually also revealed a lung carcinoma. She has had several surgeries, several complications and continues to be in and out of the hospital. The crazy things are that first, these are all considered curable, surgery removable cancers. Second, if you’re going to get cancer, get these. Third, she had THREE primary cancers at the same time. No metastatic cancer.
My families while being fairly large in size, in every sense of that word both population and figure wise, has been extremely lucky that we really have not had to deal with much disease or death as a whole. Our grandmother, the matriarch, Nena, has also been undergoing some health issues that now makes her need to be on oxygen on a continuous basis. It has been an eye opening, heart rendering time.
So I haven’t been blogging. I haven’t been doing my passion of taking pictures. I have not journaled Lauren and her wonderful life or how Bryce is the best boy in the world or how Julia is the smartest kid around. I haven’t told you about how Harry has had to have a stent placed in his artery. I have not spoken about how Rocky has tried so very hard to take up the mantle that Abby has left and how I have come to appreciate his constant presence. I have not spoken about the struggle of school. So, I am not promising anything, but I am going to try. Try to journal more often. Take more pictures not with my camera phone, which is horrible, but with my actual camera. To tell you the story behind the picture that made me grab the camera in the first place. To show the kids in all of the glory, both great, fantastic and sometimes even not so fantastic so one day they can look back and know that their aunt and uncle loved them to pieces and loved every single thing they did.
A few things about the kids: Julia is an avid reader and reads beyond a first grader in both English and Spanish. We are so proud of her. Every day she learns something new and can carry on the most intelligent conversations with you. Bryce is the snuggliest, cuddliest three year old boy around and constantly tells me “Aunt Kim, I love you. You're my best friend.” He loves to climb, hug his sisters, eat candy and play cars. Lauren has the best laugh, an ever growing vocabulary that her brother and sister work hard to expand, a wicked bite when she wants something, a scream that could wake a hibernating bear, a kiss that is always sloppy and sweet and a closeness to Amanda that is beautiful.
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